I thought it time I express some thoughts about our family trial.
I woke up this morning with Diane on my mind. I laid there, my thoughts riveted on Diane. I wondered why. Why? I see Diane laying in her ICU bed. I see the air tube. I see her arms and legs which are usually a bit swollen from water retention. But most of all, I see her eyes. Her eyes. As a young man I feel in love with those beautiful eyes. Now I see those eyes. Her eyes are simply blank now. And a part of me is blank.
Diane is simple person. She loves the simple things of life. She is delighted decorating her house for the season or the holiday. Having been an elementry school teacher, much of her life's fulfillment came from her love of children, teaching and interacting with them. She was a wonderful and caring teacher. Having developed MS in 1991 and leaving full time teaching, she was able to do some substitute teaching. She was often requested by her peers to come and cover for their classes. Kids she had taught would come up to Diane in stores and thank her. "You are Mrs. Clark, my 4th grade teacher" She always looked out for the 'underdog' child and gave them special attention and encouragement.
Diane is special. She loved her family. Her grand kids was her focus along with keeping her husband thinking straight. (Read the Nov. 1 Sunday post about Granny.) Her MS is a great trial to her. There have been times (exacerbations) when she had to crawl to the bathroom. Lately, she has developed slurred speech and hand/arm tremors. I have had to feed her at times because she would place food on her fork but flip it around the room when her hand would tremor.
Diane has endured alot. We often ask why? Especially now. Why must such a wonderful, simple, loving person have to enure more? Why.......
We, the family, are coping...kinda.
It is hard going to go to bed at night. Praying for Diane. Begging the Lord. Hoping. Wondering why. Shedding some tears. Crawling into bed. I am alone. I see her in her ICU room. I wonder why. I see her eyes. I am blank.
I must express much gratitude. Christy my daughter who started and has kept up this blog. We hope it has been helpful to all. It has helped me. Matt, thanks for helping and your support. Andy and Heidi, hang in there. Kathryn, thanks for watching Judge Judy with dad. Mom loved the judge.
Nancy, Dave Matt, Reed, spouses and family - thank you for your many visits, prayers and concern. And thanks to all of YOU from the Clark's for your expressions of love and concern and especially for your prayers.
And then there is our family angel Vickie Linton. Diane's long time very best friend and confidant in the world. Vickie, thank you, thank you. I know how much you have helped Christy, Andy, Kathryn and me understand all this better and get through this a little bit easier. You have been our light. You have made it easier to endure. You are our angel.
Again, thank you all.. neighbors, friends, ward members, family, my Facebook and business associates, for your love and prayers. We are indebted to each of you for your personal pleaing to the Lord in Diane's behalf. We have faith because of you. God bless you all. Lane
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Your post is wonderful.. Thanks for showing your feelings and expressing your heart. We think of Diane so often. Praying for you..
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about my friend and job share partner Diane. I adore Diane and I will keep her in my prayers. Thanks for this great blog and I want Diane's kids to know how much she loved them. What a great family and that is because she was such a great person. Diane is one of a kind and she is a giant among woman. I love her now get better so we can have lunch and share a laugh or two.
ReplyDeleteLane left a message on my phone this morning. I knew Diane when she was a freshman at BYU, and we lived together off campus our second year. Dave and Lane came to our apartment often and this is when Diane started to be interested in Lane. Diane was a wonderful roommate. She always had a smile on her face and she was happy most of the time. I remember thinking how tall she was because I'm only 5'4'. We had so much fun that year. It was one of the best times in my life. We lost touch for a long time and then we got together about 2 years ago and had lunch. It was me, Diane, Penee and Kathy. We could have talked for a month or more. It was so wonderful to catch up on all of our lives. I didn't know that Diane had MS until I saw her. She was doing pretty well and was so positive. I am so sorry to hear that she isn't doing well. She will be in my prayers and thoughts. Thanks for this site to bring me up to speed on what's happening. I will watch it closely. I hope that there is a miracle waiting for Diane. She is so sweet and kind and giving. When I think of her, it makes me smile. I'll keep in touch. Give my love to Diane & Lane. Love, Karen
ReplyDeleteLane, thanks for calling and letting me know about Diane. Please call again if there is anything I can do to help. She and I used to have such fun teaching. She was the perfect job share partner - we were always so "in sync". Love you all. Lesley Walker
ReplyDeleteDear Clarks,
ReplyDeleteWe just want you all to know how precious Diane is to our family. I loved it every time she directed the music for Sacrament Meeting. What a wonderful person - I would hope that I could endure my trials with as much dignity and pleasantness as she has done. We are praying for her and for you all.
Love,
The Sullivans