The power of a single word

Friday October 30th

Over the past 12 days we have been overwhelmed with talking and with words....many I've never heard before until now. Different medications, names of bacteria, and types of procedures. One word that has been overused is quite simply the word "if". Our days have been full of "ifs". If mom survives this, if they can diagnose the problem, if she responds to medication, if the ventilator can come out, if her fever comes down, if her organs are functioning, if she can hear what we are saying, if she is comfortable, if her swelling will go down, if the inflammation in her lungs has improved, if she will ever be the same. The unknown is scarey. It's scarey for anyone.

Today I felt was a better day. Changes....small changes but we'll take anything we can get at this point. I'm hoping that 2 days counts as a "trend" because her white blood cell count was down again. They came in at about 26,000. We are waiting for some more results on tests and procedures done yesterday but something different came in today. An identity to one of these bacteria. What a blessing, prayers are being answered. They once again changed her antibiotics to attack this strain. I am hopeful that everyday will show the improvements of this change in medication. They also changed her ventilator to the C-Pap function for part of the day in which she initiates her own breaths. It's making her work but to know that they think her body is capable of the work is comforting. The doctor says all of these things show improvements. I have to remind myself that all of this will take baby steps.

Today the word was "when". When mom recovers, when they take the breathing tube out, when we talk with her again. The ICU nurse today says she usually has a little intuition or gut instinct when it comes to her patients. She looked at myself and mom's sister Nancy and said, "This one isn't done". Whether or not that ends up being the case I'll take it today. We need every good word we can get. The overall mood today is good, there has been change.

I wanted to express my love and appreciation to all of you. Many phone calls from family and friends have come my direction, thank you. I haven't returned a lot of them but only because my emotions get the best of me. This is an extremely difficult time for me and my family. Your support is so appreciated and it will be something that we will continue to depend on in the upcoming months.

Thank you also for putting mom's name on prayer rolls across the state of Utah and beyond. I know that the power of the Lord is what we depend on to pull us through these difficult times. The power of the priesthood has also been exercised, thank you to the worthy priesthood holders in my life and in behalf of mom.

We invite all of you who are able and willing to participate with us in a fast on Sunday November 1st. We are uniting as friends, family and ward members to exercise faith in the Lord's plan for healing and comfort at this critical time.